Gay Men Losing Their Mothers

Gay Men Losing Their Mothers

Gay men often have a special relationship with their mothers. Typically mothers are the first or only person to accept their son’s more “feminine” interests. She might have provided a place for you to develop the real you, rather than the false self that needed to butch it up at school.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Coming Out as a Gay Man, Lesbian, or Bisexual…Again and Again and Again

Coming Out as a Gay Man, Lesbian, or Bisexual…Again and Again and Again

Each time we make that decision to be “discrete”, somewhere deep in our psyche we are reinforcing our belief that we are “less than”. 

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The Shy Gay Guy

The Shy Gay Guy

Are you shy? If so, be forewarned: this is not an article about how to overcome shyness.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Loneliness and What To Do About It

Gay Loneliness and What To Do About It

Gay men are more lonely than straight men.

It pains me to write that. Gay men need positive inspiration and role models, not more negative statements.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Gay Man

5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Gay Man

Unfortunately, feelings of loneliness and isolation are really common in the gay community despite the focus on love and relationships.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men Coming Out: Version 2.0

Gay Men Coming Out:  Version 2.0

Olympic skater Adam Rippon may be the only person who is comfortable being his gay self everywhere. At least that what it looks like on TV.  I admire him for it. 

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men and Perfectionism

 Gay Men and Perfectionism

Being perfect is one way to manage being an outsider in your own family, school, city, or country.

Feeling like an outsider is a pretty typical experience for young gay people. And too often they can also feel like they are gross, disgusting, or sick. It can be quite humiliating to grow up gay.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

The Horror of Gay Men and Femininity

The Horror of Gay Men and Femininity

At its core, gay male homophobia is caused by a fear of the feminine.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

30 Ways to Combat Internalized Homophobia for Gay and Lesbian People

1. Find gay friends with whom you identify. 2. It takes a while: keep looking until you find them. 3. Don’t expect your parents to “get it”, but don’t tolerate rudeness or disrespect… 

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

This is What Gay Men Are Hungry For

This is What Gay Men Are Hungry For

When you were in first grade and wanted to hold hands with the tall boy in your classroom, no one told you it was "cute."

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Growing up a Gay Mormon

Growing up a Gay Mormon

Psychotherapist Wyatt Darling, MFT shares some of his own experiences growing up in the Mormon faith, and his work helping client heals from anti-LGBT religious training.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Guys: Do You Feel Alone?

Gay Guys: Do You Feel Alone?

In therapy, gay men learn to recover from an abusive relationship with their self.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Homophobia As Sexual Abuse

Even if a gay man has not been physically sexually abused, his experience growing up in a homophobic culture can be considered a form of sexual abuse.

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This is Why Coming Out is Important (Even After You’ve Come Out)

This is Why Coming Out is Important (Even After You’ve Come Out)

Why do you always hear that it’s important to come out?

The reason that it is very hard to love yourself fully when you hide. And it’s very hard to love others when you don’t love yourself. Therefore, the closet is lonely. No one loves you there.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men as Outsiders

Gay Men as Outsiders

One of the most enduring societal beliefs about gay men is that they will “grow old alone."

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

How to Be Happy as a Gay Man

How to Be Happy as a Gay Man

There’s a lot of research being done on happiness these days. 

We think what will make us most happy is a great job, a devoted boyfriend or girlfriend, and a beautiful apartment.  

 

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men: Bullying is Bad for the Brain

Researchers have discovered that brain chemistry is altered in adults who experienced childhood teasing from peers.

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This Gay Therapist Asks: "Gay Men, How Do You Cross Your Legs?"

The habitual self-editing can ultimately lead to an overall feeling of being tired, "less-than", and insecure.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Reflections on Masculinity

Reflections on Masculinity

If market price is a function of supply and demand, then my advice is to start investing in masculinity. That stuff is flying off the shelves. For a variety of reasons—innate and learned—masculinity is like catnip to a significant percentage of gay men, and it appears to be in short supply.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

On Orlando, Queer Sanctuaries, and What You Can Do

On Orlando, Queer Sanctuaries, and What You Can Do

The massacre confirmed our fears that with all the strides and gains and laws and protections that we have fought for, there are people who don’t like us, there are people who think we are bad, there are people who hate us and want us dead. This is not easy to hold as a therapist or as a queer person.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.