Why Are Gay Men Busy All the Time?

Why Are Gay Men Busy All the Time?

I work with a lot of gay men. Here’s what I’ve noticed: Gay men are very busy.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Pride and Shame

Pride and Shame

Whoever came up with the concept of “Pride” when naming our Pride Marches and Pride Month was definitely clever.

As LGBTQ people we use the word pride a lot. But perhaps we don’t spend enough time understanding the opposite of pride: shame.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Lesbians and Pride Month: Surviving the Dyke March, Exes and Other People’s Selfies

Lesbians and Pride Month:  Surviving the Dyke March, Exes and Other People’s Selfies

Pride, as it turns out, can be a lot like Christmas, Valentine’s Day or other emotionally loaded holidays: big expectations and a fear of missing out (FOMO), especially when everyone is on Facebook or other social media posting selfies of their fabulous brunches and parties.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men Hiding

Gay Men Hiding

When you grow up telling the lie of “I’m not gay,” you sometimes become an adult who has a hard time knowing who he really is.

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What Happens When I See Someone Hot?

What Happens When I See Someone Hot?

Typically when we see someone with a “perfect” body we feel:

lust,

followed by…

jealousy,

followed by…

feeling bad about our body or our life.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Coming Out as a Gay Man, Lesbian, or Bisexual…Again and Again and Again

Coming Out as a Gay Man, Lesbian, or Bisexual…Again and Again and Again

Each time we make that decision to be “discrete”, somewhere deep in our psyche we are reinforcing our belief that we are “less than”. 

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The Shy Gay Guy

The Shy Gay Guy

Are you shy? If so, be forewarned: this is not an article about how to overcome shyness.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Loneliness and What To Do About It

Gay Loneliness and What To Do About It

Gay men are more lonely than straight men.

It pains me to write that. Gay men need positive inspiration and role models, not more negative statements.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Gay Man

5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Gay Man

Unfortunately, feelings of loneliness and isolation are really common in the gay community despite the focus on love and relationships.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men Coming Out: Version 2.0

Gay Men Coming Out:  Version 2.0

Olympic skater Adam Rippon may be the only person who is comfortable being his gay self everywhere. At least that what it looks like on TV.  I admire him for it. 

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men and Perfectionism

 Gay Men and Perfectionism

Being perfect is one way to manage being an outsider in your own family, school, city, or country.

Feeling like an outsider is a pretty typical experience for young gay people. And too often they can also feel like they are gross, disgusting, or sick. It can be quite humiliating to grow up gay.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

The Horror of Gay Men and Femininity

The Horror of Gay Men and Femininity

At its core, gay male homophobia is caused by a fear of the feminine.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisexuals, and Transgender People: What If You Loved Yourself?

Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisexuals, and Transgender People: What If You Loved Yourself?

The concept of loving yourself has lost its power to inspire us because it was overused in cheesy popular media. 

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Gay Men: Are You Lazy?

Gay Men: Are You Lazy?

When I hear the word “lazy’, I get very curious. Because essentially I don’t believe that laziness exists.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

30 Ways to Combat Internalized Homophobia for Gay and Lesbian People

30 Ways to Combat Internalized Homophobia for Gay and Lesbian People

1. Find gay friends with whom you identify. 2. It takes a while: keep looking until you find them. 3. Don’t expect your parents to “get it”, but don’t tolerate rudeness or disrespect… 

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

In Defense of LGBTQ Baby Talk

In Defense of LGBTQ Baby Talk

Tapping into your inner baby is a really useful tool in managing life’s challenges.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

This Gay Therapist Says: Blaming Your Parents: Not Good

This Gay Therapist Says: Blaming Your Parents:  Not Good

Here’s my perspective on this.

Blaming parents: not good.

Avoiding the knowledge of how your parents impacted your life: also not good.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

Hot Gay Guys and Happiness

Hot Gay Guys and Happiness

Desire is exciting but it is not the meaning of life.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

This is What Gay Men Are Hungry For

This is What Gay Men Are Hungry For

When you were in first grade and wanted to hold hands with the tall boy in your classroom, no one told you it was "cute."

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.

LGBTQ Relationship Tip: The Secret to a Good Relationship

LGBTQ Relationship Tip: The Secret to a Good Relationship

Here's what I think is the most important thing you can do to for your relationship: take care of yourself.

If you really and truly took care of yourself you would be an amazing boyfriend.

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The information on this blog is provided for general informational purposes only and no psychotherapist-client relationship is formed nor should any such relationship be implied. The suggestions offered in this blog are just one perspective of many approaches to dealing with problems and should not be your only source when making life decisions. This website is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment.